Fighting The Flab

Morning folks, God I am tired... it has been a hectic week. Remind me never to blog I am bored again....

Lets see... Thursday I decided to take the staff from work and shoot them... OK I didn't, but it did cross my mind... I decided that it was time to do a stock check, change the way we operate (In the warehouse) and change the Warehouse around. It started out fine, and 9 hours later it was finished. I missed training Thursday morning because I knew it was going to be a long job. The lactic acid that I still had in my thighs got burnt away fairly quickly throwing boxes (sorry, placing boss, honest) and moving palettes around... and I got quite the workout. Anyhow its all done. I headed home black from head to foot, and jumped into a hot bath to soak (after a brief shower to get the black off) listening to Amy Winehouse and Sarah McLachlan.

An hour later (yes an hour, I said soak and I am from Essex) I felt like the world was suffocating me. This black feeling invaded my own space and I was left wondering what the point to it all was. I have noticed over the last week, well to be fair over a lot longer than that, that my mood has altered, and I cant shake this feeling of dispare, foreboding its strange and worrying.


Friday arrives, I so don't want to get out of bed... my body aches, not working hard aches but flu like aches.. still I pull myself out of bed and go in to work. One of my work colleagues goes home ill within an hour of being there. I lasted till 1pm then said enough I'm going... so left work early. Saw a friend and then came home. Feeling tired and emotional, obviously I did the right thing of going to bed and paracetamol etc.... NOT!!! I Built a PC desk, went for a drive, ate a load of sweets... (AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH) the scary thing was I didn't want them, I really didn't... but feeling low, I reached for the sugar.... god I need help sometimes... Oh well... I then compounded the issue by not training and then eat a huge tea. So all in all a bad couple of days for the diet.

So now to this morning... wake up still achy, knowing I got a hard training session ahead of me this afternoon. Need to eat right and rehydrate my body as well as start it moving... so I go downstairs looking for suitable hydration and refreshment... walk past the fruit and the bottles of water, grab a cappuccino (which I haven't drunk in months) and spy my sons half eaten box of pringles... its OK there wasn't that many in them... honest :$
So now I am sat here wondering why I have firmly hit the self destruct button this week, and wondering if I am capable of stopping this relapse before it becomes a collapse? Why I have done this, and if i am really physically ill or if its a psychological aspect because I am feeling low....

Oh well, the pondering of a Thai Boxing fatty for you all to read....