Fighting The Flab

It has only been an hour since you left, and already I am missing you. Not just the feel of you sat next to me, not just the burning sensation where our skin touches. Not just the tingling sensation where you caress me, but I miss the very essence of you. Knowing you are around, hearing your voice muffled as you talk to the children in the next room. I miss the feel of your presence in the house.

The house is still and quiet and empty, no children’s voices as they play or argue over what film to watch. No noises as people run, walk, shout, laugh or cry. The house is once more just a house, not a home like it was for a brief period of time. It feels lonelier now than ever before, a brief glimpse of how it should be, all too soon taken away and only the memories remain. You laughed as you left and commented on turning up trashing the house and leaving, I sigh as I realise yet again I will be sat here alone, thinking of you and the fun times we have had this weekend.

I look at the clock and work out how long it is till I see you again, not long, only 77 hours. We have done longer apart. This time though the emptiness of the house weighs upon me, like an oppressive force pushing down, making it hard to breath. It is lonely and empty and reflects how I feel right now. I walk into the kitchen and see the cup you drank from, I walk into the bathroom and see the bubbles slowly dissolving from the bath the children had. I sit and watch them for a bit, thinking over the weekend, the sounds, the smells, you watching me cook, organising the children to clean up and the time we spent together alone.

I walk into the bedroom and lay on your side of the bed I can still smell you here, your presence lingering. I close my eyes and imagine you laying here, your dark hair spread out against the white sheets, the smile playing at your lips, how your eyes transfix mine. I smile deeply, for as painful as this is, I know in just a few hours I will get to see those eyes again, to smell you again, to hold you again and to kiss your lips once more. I realise that my life will only ever be complete with you in it and I miss you with an intensity I have never experienced before.

I love you Kerry.

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